A Perfect Christening Day

I went to my nephew’s christening last Friday and I have to say that it was a fabulous day - the sun was shining, the family was gathered and my adorable little nephew (Bobbi) looked as cute as could be wrapped up snugly in his tiny christening gown and miniature white christening shoes. He was like a lovely little doll, but much smellier … well nobody’s perfect (when you gotta go you gotta go)!

I’m not really much of a church-goer, in fact I normally only ever go to church to attend weddings, funerals and christenings and there haven’t been very many of those in the family recently. But I do like visiting God’s house on such occasions – it makes me feel warm and tingly in a way that I can’t really put into words.

The service was held at a lovely little church in Garstang, just down the road from where I live. I can’t remember its name (I always forget) but it’s the one closest to the police station. (I’ve only lived in the town for thirty years, so how do you expect me to remember the name of a church that I see almost every day?) I set off early so as not to be late and ended up arriving way before everyone else. I killed some time walking around the churchyard looking at the graves wallowing in existential angst and I managed to catch the end of a double christening of two boys, which was interesting in a boring kinda way. I can’t remember what the boys were called (something imaginative like John and James) but I remember how ugly they were. Man, when they were born the parents should have been slapped, not the children! It reminded me of the time a friend showed me his ugly new born baby and asked me what I thought. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and I didn’t want to lie to him so I said honestly, “I think he looks a lot like you!” It has to be said that the parents did make an effort – the boys’christening outfits were lovely and their faces were partially hidden by blankets - but I think it was irresponsible of such ugly parents to reproduce in the first place. 

What was I talking about, oh yeh Bobbi’s christening? So eventually the family gathered at the church, the service was lovely and tingly and then most of us went back to my brother’s house for nourishment and nattering; and everything was going smoothly until Uncle Jim started guessing the prices of the christening gifts. (I told my brother it was a mistake giving him free access to the sherry; the old geezer does the same thing every year with his Christmas presents!) His guess for my present (a cute little one piece from Cachet Kids) was way too high, but I just told him he was spot on! I’m generous like that! Anyway, despite Uncle Jim, I had a fab time and I can’t wait for my sister’s wedding in a couple of months! It’s about time she got married – she’s been happy long enough!